Achieving Happiness Column for 10-3-04 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. Sharon’s Story - From Adversity to Happiness I’ve met some people who have made some amazing transformations in their lives. One person that has totally turned her life around is a woman I’ll call Sharon. Here is Sharon’s inspiring story: I was born with severe scoliosis, which causes a curve in my spine. Going through childhood with an obvious physical problem was tough enough. But it was my family life that made growing up a real nightmare.. I grew up with my five siblings in a household that was always a place of fear and abuse. Attempts at “normal” family peace and happiness were always clouded with worry. We often wondered why my mother would suffer another beating, or why we would have to flee with her for some unknown reason. As a result, I began to have acute panic attacks at a very young age. My struggles, both physical and emotional, always wore away at my self-confidence. These problems produced nothing but negative thinking: I became a perfectionist. I always took the safe route to avoid failure. I was always on autopilot. I never made waves for fear of retribution. Along with my panic attacks, I developed a giant case of hypochondria. Needless to say, this type of life was not conducive to forming a positive attitude. In spite of it all, the only thing that I was sure of is that I would never raise my children this way. When I could no longer cope, I was led to an excellent therapist, by the grace of God. Recognizing I needed help was one of the many blessings I realized in my life. In my first therapy session, I was told that I had to forgive all the people who had caused such tremendous pain in my life - including myself. In my last therapy session, I was told that I must get something spiritual in my life.  In doing all the work in between, I came to realize that the struggles we endure are meant to teach us the reason we are here on earth. These hardships give us our reason for being. I learned that we have to be involved with others, and concern ourselves with the joy and rewards of giving. I also learned that for me “getting spiritual” meant returning to my Catholic roots. Going back to church has been so therapeutic. It makes me appreciate being in contact with caring, loving spiritual people who all share a love of God. I now realize more than ever that the people brought into our lives are definitely placed there for a purpose. God sends us everyday people to help us along the way. Giving back has brought me joy, happiness and peace that I have never experienced. I have a calendar of angels at work, and one of the meditations says the following: “As we become more aware of the power that walks with us everyday, we can begin to approach life from a position of influence rather than reaction.” No truer words apply to all of us who find ourselves depressed, anxious, confused or unhappy. My children are happy healthy adults who teach me so much about life every single day. My grandchildren are the most powerful teachers of love and life on the planet. My blessings are too many to note. My story is not unusual, and I have no resolute answers to all of the situations that may arise. But, I do have a wonderful spiritual base and a mentor that was God-sent. Each provides me with a role model for handling life’s greatest challenges, and appreciating all the blessings that I have previously taken for granted. Sharon has overcome some exceptional challenges in her life. She shared her story because she believes that other people can turn their lives around as well. She told me that one of the most important points for people to remember is that going from adversity to happiness is not attainable in one easy step. Sharon had to learn how to stop dwelling on her negative thoughts and start listening to the positive inner voice that could guide her toward her vision of a happy life. Sharon put her problems in the past so she could embrace the bounty of good that is also present in our lives. You can do that as well. If you have an inspiring story that you’d be willing to share (with names changed) in order to give hope to others, please email me at the address below.   Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.