Achieving Happiness Column for 5-16-04 By Tom Muha, Ph.D. What to do when the problems pile up I hope the test is over for me. Perhaps the last few weeks have been God’s way of checking on how well I’m doing at practicing what I preach. - Have I learned how to deal with disappointment without becoming discouraged? - Can I face frustration and not feel furious? - When someone is rude, can I remain reasonable? I have to admit that it was a struggle to keep my negative emotions from overwhelming me. These new positive psychology principles were put to the test as I dealt with persistent problems, panic, and becoming perturbed.. It all started with what was to be a happy event - putting our boat back into the water after almost two years. But in checking the mechanical components I found a serious oil leak. So I took the part in for a simple repair, only to discover over the next week that there were far more serious problems with that piece of equipment. Finally I got it back (along with a much bigger bill) and got in reinstalled just in time for the boat to be launched. But when the boat hit the water there was a big oil slick, a sure sign that the oil was still leaking. So she had to be snatched back up and returned to land for further repairs. I was heartsick, and frustrated at the prospect of having to put more cash into what had become a money pit. But I beat back my bad feelings by telling myself that the man who had been doing the work on the equipment had always been fair in the past. Recalling the honest work he’s previously performed helped me to hold on to the respect I needed to use in approaching him with this latest problem. When I called to ask for his advice on what to do next, he told me he’d be right over to the boat yard to check it out. He worked for eight hours that day taking the piece apart and testing it until he finally figured out the problem and got it fixed. I was happy to have the problem solved, but apprehensive about any extra cost. The man didn’t charge me a cent. Thankfully he is an honorable man who stands behind his work. He reaffirmed my belief that people are basically decent, if imperfect, human beings. You’re probably thinking that it was a happy ending to that day. Well, the day wasn’t over yet. Just as our boat was ready to splash down for the second time that day, a thunderstorm struck. After the worst of the winds had subsided and the lightening had stopped, we proceeded to our slip across the creek in the cold rain. Now twelve hours into a difficult day, my wife and I managed to fight the crosswinds and get our boat into our new slip on the third try. We were wet, cold and tired when we were greeted by an extremely hostile woman who demanded to know why we were there. We had rented the slip, we told her, but she was undeterred in her unfriendly approach. Our boat was too big for the slip, she insisted. My fatigue factor had me at the end of my rope and I could feel the rage welling up inside of me. I could sense that if I let this woman continue to harass me I would lose it with her. I knew that I had to get out of that part of my head that was reacting to her negativity. As my wife walked up to see what was going on, I was desperately trying to figure out what to do. Then a small voice inside reminded me that I had some people skills. Within minutes of having made the proper introductions we were all having a much more pleasant conversation. After a few days I figure the ordeal is over, only to come down to check on our boat to find a water intake hose had come off and allowed two feet of water to fill the boat. As soon as I saw the problem I was gripped with panic. Never having encountered a catastrophe like this before, I didn’t know what to do. So I started calling friends, who immediately sprang into action. Within minutes they had brought over pumps and provided valuable advice on how to fix the problem. Some times you just can’t handle problems all on your own. Thank God for good friends.   Tom Muha is a psychologist in Annapolis. He welcomes your comments and questions. To contact him call (443) 454-7274 or email him at tom@achievinghappiness.com.